Some Gems from Recent Posts

Wow, I've done 22 posts for this blog since last April.  I'll make this the last post of 2019 though and I thought I'd share some of the highlights from the past 8 months. 

To get personal for a minute, I started this Blog after my dad died in March.  He was 101 years of age and we were still discussing politics up to the day before he died.  I keep thinking that one of the things that kept him going was his life-long love of reading and his innate curiosity.  At one of our family gatherings to remember him, I asked my eldest grandson if he would create a blog honouring his great-grandfather and Cameron did so.  And that led me to realize that I too could be a blogger about what I've learned as an educator, both in the classroom and as a tutor.  I think  - I know - my dad would be proud of what I have done (and don't I wish I could share this with him!)

Here's Dad with my sister Corrine on the left and me on the right, in Wenselas Square, Prague.  We took him and our step-mom on a river cruise to celebrate his 90th birthday.  Here's to dads!

Some of the gems from The Tutoring Blog (IMHO):

• I started blogging with a review of a book called Smart but Scattered.  It's a most readable book with practical suggestions for all ages.  There is also a version for teens, Smart but Scattered Teens.  

• I have two websites that send regular links to resources to my inbox.  One is understood.org We focus on making real, positive impact in the lives of people who learn and think differently by offering tools, support, and community. Because our differences are our greatest strength. The other is ADDitude magazine  

• Check out Reading Aloud to Kids: The 12 Benefits of Reading Books Out Loud to Children of All Ages 

• It's that time of year when we are either making lists or checking things off lists!  Here's a list of activities and games that will help all of us with our Executive Functioning skills and have fun at the same time.   

• Speaking of fun times, have you played Tenzi yet?  I bought a stack of cards called 77 Ways to Play Tenzi and it is the game of choice for the younger grandchildren.  They borrowed it for one of their camping trips; not only is it fun, but it's compact!

• One of the skills I tried to teach my daughters and my students is that of self-advocacy.  Here's a link that might be even better than my original post. And this link explains a little more about this important skill. 
• The 'End of the Day Buddy' system was one of my favourite posts and just recently I saw something similar on understood.org; this time it was called 'Study Buddy'.  

• In the post on Developing Self-Determination, this point was important: 
• Model decision-making:  When you're making a decision, talk through it with your children; let them hear the thought-processes that you use to make decisions.  A Pros and Cons list is a great way to help them see what goes into decision-making.

• Here's a list of books for reluctant readers in Grades 3-5 from Summer Reading . That link led me to this site about graphic novels  and how they can help kids with reading.  I just might have to do an entire post of this topic!

• When writing the Domino Effect, I found a site entitled Learning Works for Kids.  LearningWorks for Kids was founded on the principle that popular video games and other digital media, when used mindfully and responsibly, can be powerful tools for sharpening and improving children’s academic performance and cognitive Thinking Skills. This is especially true for the children we call Alternative Learners: kids who struggle with everything from mild learning difficulties to diagnosed disorders such as Asperger’s, Dyslexia, and ADHD.

• As January approaches, I hope you've got a variety of calendars for 2020, including one showing the whole  year at a glance, a monthly calendar, and a weekly one.  I think the monthly calendar is the most important and most useful.  Here's the biggest take-away from The Executive Functions of Time Management about the monthly calendar: 
• Crossing off the days is a great motivator.  We can see the time gap closing between 'now' and 'then'.  The open spaces are shrinking and we get a really good grasp of time passing.
• When teachers use this strategy of having the kids cross off the dates, they notice that the students worked more on their tasks because they could 'see' that deadline creeping closer.

• I wrote three posts recently about ADHD, two actually appearing in October, ADHD Awareness month.  For a variety of reasons, both personal and professional, I have become much more aware of ADHD and relevant resources.  I so wish I knew then (when I was in a classroom) what I know now.  One of the key take-aways from Life Hacks for Adults and Kids with ADHD (and others)  is to look for progress, not perfection.

Thanks, as always, for reading.  Please let me know if there are topics you'd like me to investigate.  I'm getting so much pleasure writing these blogs and it's encouraging to hear from you.

Have a great Christmas.  Enjoy the break; stay well; and keep reading!

Strength Chains and Lunchbox Notes

First of all, I hope that the writing and the receiving of the Progress report went well.  As a reminder, here's the link to what I wrote back in June about the Kids' version of Learning Skills and Work Habits. (and yes I realize that the cartoon below dates me! - and I had to put in the link for at least one reader who did not recognize who Sam Cooke was!)

Today I want to share two links from one my favourite sites, Understood.org

One is about creating a Strengths Chain and the other is about Lunchbox Notes.  Both are PDFs for which I will add links.

And speaking of 'links', I will share with you how each of these has had an impact on my teaching career and personal life.

The Strengths Chain

Early in the second round of my teaching career, my sister shared with me a small item from Reader's Digest.  It was about a discovery a mom made when going through her adult son's possessions after his death (in the military I think).  She found a crumpled up piece of paper with her son's name on it and a list of positive attributes, which totally defined him in ways she had not thought of for a long time.  She recognized it from his grade six teacher.  That teacher had given each student in the class a list of all the students in the class and asked them to write a positive, truthful comment about each student in the space beside each name.

She then compiled all the comments for each student into individual lists.  Sometime during the year  she gave each student her/his list of attributes. Obviously it meant a lot to that young man because he had kept it close to him for over 20 years - and from the condition of the piece of paper had looked at it often.

I decided to adopt that practice and every year I would hand out a class list, ask my students to fill in the form - anonymously - , and I then compiled it for each student.  To be honest, it was a lot of work but it was a joy because I knew what it would mean to each student and I learned a lot about my students.  And because I am who I am, I included my name on the list!

I made a big ceremony of it when I handed out those lists.  Students would sit quietly and read through all the positive comments.  I still have those lists that my students wrote about me.  It's a powerful exercise.

I can only hope that today's technology would make things a little easier.

Can you use that as a parent?  Absolutely - you could expand it to the wider family circle and have each person fill it in electronically and you could compile the list for each family member and hand them out as gifts at Christmas (it would mean that it wasn't entirely anonymous if you were doing the collating but maybe using Google docs could help you with that!)

So here's a variation on highlighting strengths and attributes. It's a Strengths Chain.  To help kids thrive, recognizing their strengths is just as important as working on their challenges.  

Lunchbox Notes

So here's the 'text to self' link for me on this one.  When John was working for IBM, he travelled a fair amount.  Before he went away I'd write little 'suitcase' notes and hide them in various articles of clothing.  When we talked each night he'd tell me which note he had found that day.  After he retired and golf trips became the norm, I still added those notes.  Once when I went to Australia for two weeks on a Girl Guide trip (lucky me) I found a big hug in my suitcase; one of my daughters had traced her hands on either ends of a long piece of fabric, tucked it in my suitcase, and then told me I'd find a hug in my suitcase!

I'm sure you've done something similar.  In my quest to make things life easier for all of us, here's the link to the Lunchbox Notes.  You can’t be at school to cheer your child on, but a little note in your child’s lunchbox can go a long way. Lunchbox notes can give kids a jolt of confidence in the middle of the school day. And that can be just the self-esteem booster kids who learn and think differently need. 

 I know you'll be creative and find ways to adapt both these 'tools'.  When you do, please share.

Some Updates from recent posts

• My sister told me that she wanted to make the 50+ Questions to ask at the end of the day more manageable (i.e., how to avoid carrying a big piece of paper around).  I told her that I too was thinking of how to do that (not there yet but maybe Corrine, you'll share what you did create!)
• one of the questions that intrigued me was 'What colour socks did your teacher wear today?'.  I realized I'd used that once or twice too often when I started to ask my middle grandson another question but starting with "What ...." and he finished my sentence with "colour socks did my teacher wear?"  Corrine - I definitely need that reduced list!
• After writing about the importance of paper calendars I found an unused 2019 calendar and created my own 'big' calendar to take me to the end of 2019, and then I treated myself to a really good-looking agenda/calendar (after checking that it included the full year on 1-2 pages, as well as 12 monthly calendars).  
• And I've started work on getting out of the house on time.  It really does take several minutes to get from the bedroom and out the door.  The day after I wrote that post about Life Hacks I thought I'd given myself enough time but lo and behold, it had snowed the night before and that added all kinds of unforeseen delays.  I'm getting there!
• And finally, as I was searching for images for this post I found this one.  Since one of my memes has always been that it is a sign of strength to ask for help, I found this one powerful.

Part 2 of Life Hacks for Adults and Kids with ADHD (actually anyone)

Part 2 of Life Hacks for Adults and Kids with ADHD 

(and the those who love them)

Last week I summarized some thoughts from a webinar I had listened to entitled Win with ADHD: The Best Life Hacks for Adults and Kids presented by Dr. Michele Novotni.  So here's the rest of the summary.

Use Technology to Get Focused and Stay Focused

There are two apps that were recommended by Dr. Novotni.  As always, buyer beware, but both offer free trials.  

The first is Focus@Will. I downloaded it on my iPhone for free (there's an Android version and a web version)  The full name of the app is:  Focus@Will: Control Your ADD

It's a streaming app to help you focus. The write-up on the app site explains that the music you find on Focus@Will cannot be found anywhere else; we remaster, re-edit, and re-produce each track to remove all distracting elements so you can stay productive and focused. 

The website sells a subscription-based service for an annual fee of about $100 USD.  One reviewer of the Android version says that the app is just a 'thin wrapper around the website'.   Check out reviews first.    

The second option is Focus Booster; it too is a free (at first) app.  The iOS version says that there is a 30-day unlimited free trial, after which, if you don't sign-up you will be placed on the starter plan - which is free, with 20 sessions per month.  The individual plan is $2.99 per month, 200 sessions per month.  

Here's a review on the app and how it works.

Other suggestions:

Noise-cancellation headsets to tune out the noise.  There are many noise-cancellation apps available .

Not Quite so High Tech 

Time Timer   Unlike traditional timers that fail to make the abstract concept of time concrete, Time Timer’s visual depiction of “time remaining” provides stress-free time management at work, school and home to make every moment count. Amazon sells it for about $30.

Check out Clocky Alarm Clock on Wheels - this alarm clock moves around; you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Amazon sells it for about $54.00.

The Launch Pad & The Landing Pad

Sounds as if it's either really high tech or the title of a bad space movie but it's really about trying to get out the door on time.    The Launch Pad and Landing Pad is a dual function spot; it's where you drop stuff when coming home (the landing pad); it's where you pick up the items as you leave the next morning (the launch pad).  It's where you put all the  things you need for the next day, as close to the door as possible - backpack, note to remember your lunch, finished homework and so on. This should be your space and no one else's.  Be creative - is it a basket?  A big hook for the backpack?  A colourful bag perhaps.  It's your help-keep-you-organized spot.

The Laundry Options

I did not know about Colour Catchers before I watched the webinar.  For those who are time challenged, disorganized, forgetful (did I miss anyone?) check out 'colour catchers'. Just throw all the laundry in together.  A colour catcher catches loose dyes that seep into clothing during washes.  It prevents the dye from running or bleeding into the other clothes.  You can make your own or use a product from Shout: 

Maybe the Laundry Doesn't Need to be Folded and Put Away

All you might need is a way to separate the clean from the not clean.  Baskets work - one for the dirty clothes, one for the clean clothes.  You could label the baskets 'Coming' and 'Going'!

Get Moving to Get a Brain Break

This is such a standard response to how to get motivated but it's worth repeating.  Dr. Novotni had a client who would go for a run before having to do a 'non-preferred' activity.  So if something is out there and you know it's not going to be fun or interesting or you're avoiding it for whatever reason, do something active.  The Executive part of your brain will reward you with a willingness to settle down and tackle what you were avoiding.  

Here's an introductory link to Brain Gym.  I'm going to write a post in the near future about my experiences with the activities but if you're interested in simple exercises to stimulate different parts of the brain, check the website.

Life Hacks for Adults and Kids with ADHD (and others)

This is my second entry for ADHD Awareness Month (it's never too late!)  It's about life hacks for adults and kids.  There's a lot of good stuff in here, all culled from a webinar presented by ADDitude magazine last month (all sources and acknowledgements are at the end of this post). And the hacks aren't limited to those with ADHD - there are good ideas in here for everyone.

Dr. Michele Novotni, the presenter, made an impression because she told stories to supplement her ideas; I'll try to share them as best I can.

There are nine (9) points in this post.  More to come.  Here they are:

1. Look for progress, not perfection
2. Limit critical self-talk
3. Find your tribe
4. Find an expert
5. Optimize medication
6. Manage your time
7. Time yourself
8. Think backwards
9. Ask a question, and then ask another

Look for Progress, Not Perfection

Folks with ADHD will miss the mark at times, so praise along the way is critical, even from/to ourselves.  Dr. Novotni told the story of her son getting ready to go to a relative's wedding.  When he got there and was changing into the appropriate clothing, he realized he had everything except his dress pants.  So he wore his suit coat over his jeans.  Some of the people around him focused on the fact that he couldn't get it together; his family chose instead to focus on the fact that a) he got there - on time; and b) he got there with most of his outfit!  Glass half full!

Limit Critical Comments/Self-talk

This is for those who listen to that negative voice inside their head (probably propped up by those wedding guests who could see only a glass half empty).  It takes seven (7) positive comments to erase one negative one, so be careful.  One of Dr. Novotni's students told her that he just stopped talking (and listening) to himself so he didn't have to say seven (7) positive things to himself.  Whatever it takes!

Find Your Tribe

Look for peer support, those who understand you; it's exhausting having to do this on your own.  This time her story was about her dad, who has ADHD.  She was trying to persuade him to attend an ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) conference but he was reluctant because he knew he was annoying and didn't want to hang out with other annoying people!  However, he did go and found it a pleasant experience to be himself, with like-minded people!

Find an Expert

If you're the one who created all your messes, you're probably not the best person to try to fix them.  There are professionals out there who can help; consider adding them to your team, be they a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist, coach, or an organizational consultant.

But a caveat - make sure the professional you choose is someone who is really good at ADHD.  Dr. Novotni's professional advice is that it is really important to find someone who knows their ADHD meds and what they can and cannot do.

Optimize Medication if You are Using It

Dr. Novotni's experience is that too often people stop their meds because - It Works!  I don't need it anymore. Or they stop when the first one or two trials don't make a difference.  She made the connection to eye exams - you think the first corrective lens is good, then the next one - wait, is that better or not?  It takes time and patience to find a good fit, because no one person with ADHD is like any other person.  

The professional term for finding the right dosage with the fewest side effects is called Titration.  

Manage Your Time

If your goal is to arrive right on time (not a bad goal, eh?) think of how little it would take to make you late - a traffic jam, a wrong turn, missing the bus - the best laid plans?????

Set your arrival time for 8 1/2 minutes before the 'on-time' time.  (The 1/2 is important - kind of like the sales price for $1.99 - we never think of it as being $2.00; in this case, the 1/2 is a good psychological reminder).

 Time Yourself

ADHD folks are terrible at judging time - knowing how long something takes.  I've referenced this in an earlier post - sometimes we put things off because we think it will take tooooooo long; when we actually time how long it takes,  it really is not that long.

But it works the other way.  Time yourself taking that 'short' shower.  How short is it really? So if you tell someone you will be right with them but you just have to take a shower, just exactly how long is that shower?  Now add that information when you......

Think Backwards

Start with the end result - you walking out the door.  What do you have to do to get to that point?  Add in each task (even the very minor ones, because they all add up).  Time yourself looking for your coat, your boots, your keys, locking the door, and so on.  After you have timed all those events, you now have a realistic idea of how much time to give yourself to get out the door - on time, 8 1/2 minutes early!

Ask a Question, and then Ask Another

Ask a question, and then ask a follow-up question!  It makes people feel appreciated.  Remember the thought in the previous post, about not always being able to 'read the room'?  If we were to remember this one skill, our social adeptness would go through the roof!

I'm going to stop now because that's about all anyone can read and absorb.  So this Webinar synopsis is going to become more than one.  Stay with me - Part 2 is coming next week.

Resources

• The webinar presenter: http://www.michelenovotni.com/
• Her book: 

•  Facts About ADHD: Debunking Common Myths
• eBook: "Secrets of the ADHD Brain"
• Titration - https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-titration-of-medication-mean-20899
• ADDA - https://add.org/ 

Some thoughts at the end of ADHD Awareness Month

October is ADHD Awareness Month.  Recognizing and acknowledging ADHD tendencies in our kids, both our own and the ones in our classroom, can be a challenge.  But as I become more knowledgeable and do more research on the topic, and listen to family members talk about their experiences, the prevailing reaction to a diagnosis seems to be, "Thank goodness; now I know why I've been feeling that way. Now I know what I am dealing with!"

So here's a short (I hope) compilation of one webinar session from this past month, entitled Having the Talk: How to Best Explain ADHD to Your Child, Family, and Friends.  Part Two will share some 'hacks' from another ADHD expert.

Resources and speaker acknowledgement are at the end of the post for further reference.  

Thank you in advance for reading!

In past posts I've referred to Executive Functions; those with ADHD have Executive Function developmental delay. These functions are regulated by the prefrontal cortex or operating system of our brain.  For kids with ADHD, that operating system is developing at a slower rate than the rest of the brain.  Try the analogy of playing with a 2016 version of Minecraft against someone who is using an up-to-date version.  The 2016 version is a little glitchy, so it's harder to do certain things that the newer version can do easily.

ADHD makes it:

• harder to do 'future planning' - picturing things that you have to do in the future;
• harder to'feel' time;  see The Executive Functions of Time Management;
• harder to use 'episodic memory'; 
• that is, it's hard to remember how something made us feel in the past; if we could remember doing something that was negative, we might not repeat it. 
• harder to do 'perspective taking', which means: 
• appreciating what others might be thinking or feeling, as you are talking;  
• understanding how you come across to others when you're engaged with them (i.e., it's hard to 'read the room');
  
• harder to switch from doing something you really like to do to something you don't like;
• harder to be flexible and accept change;
• this is why many teens are resistant to accepting help.

The Brain Coach 

All of us have a "Brain Coach" - that little voice inside our brain that is self-directed talk helping us make decisions, plan, and carry out those all-important Executive Functions.  

With ADHD, the volume for the Brain Coach is turned down too low, so:

• it's harder to pick up the signals that we should be planning for that assignment that's due;
• it's harder to get started on things that are boring or difficult and once started, to stick with them;
• it's harder to figure out what's a little, medium, or big problem;
• kids with ADHD often overreact to what is really a minor problem and not react appropriately to a big problem!
• it's harder to 'see into' the future to predict what might be the outcome of our present actions, even if it's just a few seconds 'down the road'.

Suggestions for what kids with ADHD can say to their peers (or adults who need help understanding):

• "My brain makes it hard for me to picture what I'm supposed to be doing and to pay attention to things I'm not interested in."
• "ADHD makes it hard for me to think about the future before I do something; I'm afraid I'm going to forget something; that's why I call out a lot in class."
• "It's hard for me to remember to do something because ADHD means I can't hear my Brain Coach clearly."

Further thoughts:

• You can't 'speed up' the development of the frontal cortex by being stricter or punishing a child.
• BUT the behaviour is not an excuse; it's an explanation for why a child does things the way he does.
• 30% of kids with ADHD also present with anxiety; boys especially feel they are the only ones feeling like this; it's a huge relief when they realize they are not the only one feeling this way.

Medication

"Medication; it's a band-aid; it won't solve ADHD but it helps to regulate the symptoms.  It helps to 'slow you down so you can hear the Brain Coach' ".

Quotes from the Webinar

• ADHD is a description of how your brain works; it is not your identity.  
• ADHD is not a character flaw.
• Denying ADHD exists could very likely impair your relationship with your child.
• When we were growing up, ADHD was rarely diagnosed.  If it was diagnosed it was rarely talked about or explained to kids beyond "trouble paying attention or sitting still."

My Thoughts

Many parents do not wish to acknowledge that a child might 'have' ADHD because it means giving them 'a label'.  My response is that that label can bring a wealth of comfort, a huge sense of relief, and access to valuable resources and support.

Finally, a disclaimer.  I'm trying to become as knowledgeable as I can about this topic, but I am a teacher, not a social worker or a therapist.  I'm sharing resources that I have found to be both helpful and reliable.

The Resources

1. Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) was the presenter of this webinar, as presented on https://www.additudemag.com/
1. Ryan specializes in working with males from 5 - 22 who present with ADHD, anxiety with ADHD, and learning differences.
2. Ryan has a YouTube channel  with some specifically directed to fathers.
3. He also has a ADHD Dude Facebook group.
2. CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
3. Try Totally ADD for a Canadian and humourous take on ADHD.  You might recognize Rick Green, the founder of Totally ADD, as one of the writers for the Red Green show (which just might be dating me!).  I particularly encourage you to read the About Us page to put a human face on ADHD.

 

Moving Beyond 'How was school today?' Question

This topic came up because of the conversation around the family Thanksgiving table this weekend.

I think we've all been there - trying to start a conversation with the question "How was your day?" or "How was school today?" Often the response is "Fine." and that's the end of the conversation.

I found several websites with variations on the following questions.  I've adapted some of them for this post.

50 + Questions to Ask After School

(or during dinner!)

1. What was the best thing that happened today?
2. What made you smile today?
3. What made you laugh?
4. Tell me about a kindness you saw (or did) today?
1. Follow up - did you see any unkindness?
5. Who did you help today? 
6. Whose bucket did you fill today?
7. Who filled your bucket?
   
8. Does everyone have someone to play with at recess?
9. What was the book about that your teacher was reading to you?
10. What's the word of the day? (or week?)
11. What was the silliest thing you saw today?
12. If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?
13. What did you do that was really creative?
14. What compliment did you pay someone today?
15. Did someone compliment you today?  What did they say?
16. What are some of the games that the kids play at recess?
17. What recess game is your favourite?
18. How many times do you think you said 'Thank you'?
19. Who do you sit with at lunch?
20. What did you learn today that was brand new to you?
21. Who was the person who inspired you today? (or made you feel good about yourself?)
22. What were the high points and the low points of today?
23. What's your favourite part of the day?
    
24. What's your least favourite part of the day?
25. Was anyone absent today?
26. What happened in class that made you think?
27. Who did you play with today?
28. Tell me something you learned today that you didn't know yesterday.
29. Did you like your lunch?
30. Rate your day on a scale from 1 - 10.
31. How were you brave today?
32. What was a question you asked in class today?
33. What were the top two things that happened today?
34. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
35. What are you reading right now?
36. What was/is the hardest rule to follow?
37. Teach me something that I probably don't know.
38. If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?
39. What made your teacher smile today?  What made your teacher frown?
40. What made you feel proud today?
41. Tell me about one new word you learned today.
42. What is your favourite part of the school building?  Least favourite?
43. If you switched places with your teacher tomorrow, what would you teach the class?
44. What colour were the teacher's shoes today?
45. Who did you say something nice to today?  What did you say?
46. Who needs a friend at school?
47. What word did the teacher say a lot today?
48. How does the teacher tell the class to be quiet?
49. Where is your desk?  Who are you sitting with?
50. Did you see the custodian (caretaker) today?  What was she/he doing?
51. What do you wish the teacher knew about you?
52. What is one crazy thing that happened at school today?
53. If I got an email from your teacher today, what would it say?
54. Who told a funny joke today?  What was it?
55. Which of your teachers was the happiest today? Grumpiest? Kindest?
56. When were you bored today? (what was the topic?  How could it be more interesting?)
57. Did anyone have a birthday today?  How are they going to celebrate?
58. What was the most challenging part of the day?

All of these questions can have follow-up questions but I'd play it by ear.  One question often leads to another and lo and behold you have a conversation.  And finally, don't forget a conversation is a two-way street, so be ready to share what happened to you today.  Invite your child to ask you a question, or share your own experience (current or past) related to the question you asked.

If you have other questions you've tried, please share!

The Executive Functions of Time Management

Can you identify with one or more of the following scenarios?

1. It's Thursday night and you're helping Sam put away his books in his backpack for tomorrow.  As he's about to zipper up the backpack he says, "I think Mrs. James said something about our Social Studies project being due tomorrow." What the heck?  This is the first time you've heard of this project.  
2. It's Monday after school and Ashley is pulling out her agenda from her backpack and hands you a crumpled piece of paper.  She sighs and tells you that it's about her science experiment that is due sometime.  "It's gonna take so long to do this; I'll never be able to do it."
3. Robert has been sitting at his desk for at least 30 minutes; as you drop in to check to see how he's doing, he lets out a heavy sigh and says, "I've got so many assignments.  I'm never going to find the time to do them all."

Do any of these scenarios ring true?  Those who are able to plan effectively can 'see' into the future; they know how to adjust their schedule to make things happen.  The phrase 'the event horizon line' sums this planning up - effective planners can see how much time is between 'now' and 'then'.

But those kids (and adults) who have weak executive function skills for time management and setting priorities, being able to plan is a real issue.  The future doesn't exist.  In fact, for them, there are often only two times - 'Now' and 'Not now'.

How can we support those students?

It's all about calendars - big, print calendars that show us the future.  We need to see it writ large.

Here's how to make 'big' calendars work

Start with the whole year at once.

Use an academic calendar (September to August).

• First step - cross off those dates that are NOT school dates (holidays, March break, vacation, reading week, PA days, and so on).
• In the examples below, the dates have been colour-coded and then identified for each month. (It's an American calendar so not only does school start in August but Thanksgiving is in the 'wrong' spot!)
• Once the holidays, PA days etc. are recorded, add in the school assignments, projects etc. that you know about.  This is going to be an on-going project.
• Update the calendar as the year goes on. 

Close up from Yearly Calendar:

Now break out the monthly calendars.

• To help children appreciate how much 'actual' time they have and do not have, add in those after-school events (soccer practice, Brownies, swimming etc.) and family events.
• Once you have added in those 'inflexible' events, work with your child to fill in the times when he might work on any assignments.
• Cross off the days as they go by (see below for why that works).
• Note that in the monthly calendar example below that subjects have different colour coding and that there are different 'check points' for assignments (i.e., assigned date, mid-way, due date).

Time for the daily TO DO list.

• This is where the app for your device comes in handy.  If you both have devices, you could 'sync' the To Do list so you both have access to it.
• If no devices, use the weekly agenda from school (but keep reading to see why it has its limitations).

Some cautions

• There's a lot going on in what I've just explained.  This is so much more than a one-off session.  Do this in small steps.  You know your child best and how much she can handle at any one time.  Take baby steps.
• This process of making a habit of planning and setting priorities is going to take time.  But just getting out the calendar and crossing off some dates is a huge step.  It's surprising how motivating that seemingly insignificant step can be.
• This is a true 'coaching' activity.  We can't just hand kids the calendar (weekly, yearly, monthly) and expect them to fill it out.  We have to work with them and help them understand the process and why it's going to help them.  It's about starting with them, working with them (sometimes for several weeks), and then gradually backing off but still checking in with them.  This is called 'scaffolding'. Executive functions don't get learned overnight.    

  

  Scaffolding - substitute "parent" for 'teacher'

• As you work with your child to develop these time management executive functions, over time (!) you're going to remove some of the 'scaffolding' - i.e., let them add in their assignments on their own to the calendar (you won't be hovering, but you'll be watching from a distance), and then you won't be reminding them at all (or maybe only occasionally).  But don't put away the scaffolding completely; just put it aside; it might be needed again.
• As you remove some of the scaffolding, you could ask your child how often he would like you to check in with him about how things are going - is it twice a week, once a week?  If those check-in times don't work, make adjustments.  We need to have those small steps be successful. 
• Because this is a coaching activity, it's the kids adding to the calendar.  They have to 'own it'.  But you're there to coach them as to how to do it.
• You could set up your own calendar and model it (as teachers do at school when they are using the scaffolding process).  Think out loud as you add your events to the calendar: Let's see, Thanksgiving is next week (mark that on the calendar); I have to buy the turkey - okay that's going on this date; I have to ask the kids to make some table decorations - that's going on this date.

I'm not convinced

• We  have a school agenda; why can't I just use that?
• Yes, and it's colourful but it's weekly.  It doesn't give you the 'big' picture.  Once you turn the page and move on to the next week, that week is past.  Or you can't see into the next week.  And we need to see that ongoing time.
• If you must use the school agenda, use it as the To Do list for daily check-ups.
• It's going to take too long to set this up.
• Let's assume you have the big yearly calendar and the smaller monthly calendars. Time your child on how long it takes to add the holidays, vacations, etc. and then add the known assignments (remember - when you start, you won't have all the assignments for the whole year).  It really does not take that long and it is sooooo satisfying to see all those non-school days checked off.
• But I have yearly, monthly, weekly, daily calendars on my device.
• Indeed we do, and they can be helpful but those calendars (other than daily) are teeny-weeny.  We need to see more than 'dots' on the monthly calendar.  It's not the BIG picture.

Okay, it's becoming convincing.  Why does it work?

• When we can see the 'big' picture, it doesn't seem as scary anymore.  The big picture shows us the time that we have; it gives us space to plan.  We can see that event horizon, and see exactly how much time there is between 'now' and 'then'.
• In Sam's case (Scenario #1), you're going to need to work with the teacher to find a way for her to communicate with you about what is coming up and what the due dates are.  It's a team effort.
• Some people will say, "But the kids have to learn how to do this themselves."  And in a perfect world maybe that would be true.  But it's not a perfect world and we are not perfect.  We need that scaffolding.  It is not a crutch.  It's a learning strategy. The goal is to get them to doing it themselves.
• For Ashley (Scenario #2) when she uses the calendar, she can see how much time she has; she can see how the 'whole' can be broken down into manageable parts.  It is no longer overwhelming.
• For Robert (Scenario #3) he can now set priorities (with your coaching) about which project should be started first.  Just getting those projects onto the calendar is a huge step forward, even though it looks like such a small baby step!
• Crossing off the days is another great motivator and so important.  We can see the time gap closing between 'now' and 'then'.  The open spaces are shrinking and we can get a really good grasp of time passing.
• When teachers use this strategy of having the kids cross off the dates, they notice that the students worked more on their tasks because they could 'see' that deadline creeping closer.

But what if it's not working or stops working?

• To be quite honest - quite likely that's going to happen.  So when it's working, watch out for when it's not.
• Change it up - get a new calendar, new highlighting colours, smaller steps, more check-ins.
• Ask questions:
• What do you want to work on for improving?
• What was different when it worked?
• What was different when it didn't?
• If a deadline was missed, what can you learn?  What would you do differently next time?
• For younger kids, use stickers for milestones on the calendar when met.
• Plan celebrations - frequently - for all ages.
• Plan a celebration when mistakes happen and we learn from them.
• Plan something big for when something big is completed.

Final thoughts:

The Year calendar is the Motivator; it's not 365 days of school.

The Month calendar is the View - it's manageable.

The Daily is the To Do List, to keep me on track.

Good luck and let me know what works for you!

Thanks to the webinar Developing "Future Thinking": Getting Things Done with Less Stress and Fuss by Marydee Sklar for inspiration and screenschots of calendars.

The Domino Effect!

Last day of September - where did the month go?  By now, things have settled into place at school - for now - although there are thunder clouds on the horizon, aren't there!

I'm now working on Grade 4 of my publishing contract and in the course of reading some Ministry documents on the Fundamentals for Math, I came across the recommendation for three games.  One of the games was called Domino Drop.  When I did a search I found several references to an app called Domino Drop, including this recommendation .  It's on a site called Learning Works for Kids and it looks to be another reference source I'm going to follow.

This is what the screen looks like for Domino Drop.  

When you read the recommendations on the site for the App, you'll see that two Executive Functioning Skills are addressed: Planning and Organization.  There are also some basic math-related skills.  So I paid the grand price of just under $3.00, and added it to my iPad.

But here's the thing - that was not the game or the app the Ministry was recommending!  Eventually I found another Ministry document (and this was a true gem) with many games to supplement classroom learning.   The game Domino Drop was one of them.  But it is an entirely different game, although 'real' dominoes are involved.

It's a great game to reinforce beginning arithmetic skills of 'One More Than' and 'Two More Than' facts. Because students can easily recall the next number (+1) or the number after that (+2), it is advisable to begin instruction with “one-more-than” and “two-more-than” facts (see Strategy Cues below).

But also look at this game as another tool/strategy for reinforcing Executive Functions, particularly Focusing, Impulse control, and Organization.

Intrigued, I found John's domino set and today my student and I played.  We adapted some of the instructions from the Ministry.  Here's my adaptation for two players:

Materials:

• a set of dominoes, divided equally between two players
• Strategy cues: (use the first 6 for younger students)
• one more than
• two more than
• one less than
• two less than
• take away one
• take away two
• add one
• add two
• plus one
• plus two
• one less
• two less

How to Play:

• Choose a strategy cue (one more than, two more than, etc.)
• Arrange an equal number of dominoes between the two of you, face down.
• Turn one domino over, and place it in the centre of the playing area.
• Take turns using the chosen strategy to try to make a match to the centre domino.  If the strategy is “one more than” and the domino that is face up has a 2 and a 5, a player would need to have a domino with a 3 or 6 to match. If the player cannot make a match, she/he selects one additional domino from the collection and tries to make a match. If not, the turn is over and the other player plays. Play continues until one player has played all their dominoes.
• Extension: Give players two strategy cards at a time (any combination of one more than, two more than, one less than, two less than) so that they can use either strategy when making a match.

Finally, an update on Tenzi:

I did buy the card pack 77 Ways to Play Tenzi to supplement my Tenzi Pack  (see earlier post).  We played it many times with Florence and Luke (grandchildren) at the cottage, and it was the game of choice for Florence!

Have fun.  Coming next - using calendars to keep us all organized!