Dr. Michele Novotni, the presenter, made an impression because she told stories to supplement her ideas; I'll try to share them as best I can.
There are nine (9) points in this post. More to come. Here they are:
- Look for progress, not perfection
- Limit critical self-talk
- Find your tribe
- Find an expert
- Optimize medication
- Manage your time
- Time yourself
- Think backwards
- Ask a question, and then ask another
Look for Progress, Not Perfection
Folks with ADHD will miss the mark at times, so praise along the way is critical, even from/to ourselves. Dr. Novotni told the story of her son getting ready to go to a relative's wedding. When he got there and was changing into the appropriate clothing, he realized he had everything except his dress pants. So he wore his suit coat over his jeans. Some of the people around him focused on the fact that he couldn't get it together; his family chose instead to focus on the fact that a) he got there - on time; and b) he got there with most of his outfit! Glass half full!
Limit Critical Comments/Self-talk
This is for those who listen to that negative voice inside their head (probably propped up by those wedding guests who could see only a glass half empty). It takes seven (7) positive comments to erase one negative one, so be careful. One of Dr. Novotni's students told her that he just stopped talking (and listening) to himself so he didn't have to say seven (7) positive things to himself. Whatever it takes!
Find Your Tribe
Look for peer support, those who understand you; it's exhausting having to do this on your own. This time her story was about her dad, who has ADHD. She was trying to persuade him to attend an ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) conference but he was reluctant because he knew he was annoying and didn't want to hang out with other annoying people! However, he did go and found it a pleasant experience to be himself, with like-minded people!
Find an Expert
If you're the one who created all your messes, you're probably not the best person to try to fix them. There are professionals out there who can help; consider adding them to your team, be they a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist, coach, or an organizational consultant.
But a caveat - make sure the professional you choose is someone who is really good at ADHD. Dr. Novotni's professional advice is that it is really important to find someone who knows their ADHD meds and what they can and cannot do.
Optimize Medication if You are Using It
Dr. Novotni's experience is that too often people stop their meds because - It Works! I don't need it anymore. Or they stop when the first one or two trials don't make a difference. She made the connection to eye exams - you think the first corrective lens is good, then the next one - wait, is that better or not? It takes time and patience to find a good fit, because no one person with ADHD is like any other person.
The professional term for finding the right dosage with the fewest side effects is called Titration.
Manage Your Time
If your goal is to arrive right on time (not a bad goal, eh?) think of how little it would take to make you late - a traffic jam, a wrong turn, missing the bus - the best laid plans?????
Set your arrival time for 8 1/2 minutes before the 'on-time' time. (The 1/2 is important - kind of like the sales price for $1.99 - we never think of it as being $2.00; in this case, the 1/2 is a good psychological reminder).
Time Yourself
ADHD folks are terrible at judging time - knowing how long something takes. I've referenced this in an earlier post - sometimes we put things off because we think it will take tooooooo long; when we actually time how long it takes, it really is not that long.
But it works the other way. Time yourself taking that 'short' shower. How short is it really? So if you tell someone you will be right with them but you just have to take a shower, just exactly how long is that shower? Now add that information when you......
Think Backwards
Start with the end result - you walking out the door. What do you have to do to get to that point? Add in each task (even the very minor ones, because they all add up). Time yourself looking for your coat, your boots, your keys, locking the door, and so on. After you have timed all those events, you now have a realistic idea of how much time to give yourself to get out the door - on time, 8 1/2 minutes early!
Ask a Question, and then Ask Another
Ask a question, and then ask a follow-up question! It makes people feel appreciated. Remember the thought in the previous post, about not always being able to 'read the room'? If we were to remember this one skill, our social adeptness would go through the roof!
I'm going to stop now because that's about all anyone can read and absorb. So this Webinar synopsis is going to become more than one. Stay with me - Part 2 is coming next week.
Resources
- The webinar presenter: http://www.michelenovotni.com/
- Her book:
No comments:
Post a Comment