Monday, September 30, 2019

The Domino Effect!

Last day of September - where did the month go?  By now, things have settled into place at school - for now - although there are thunder clouds on the horizon, aren't there!

I'm now working on Grade 4 of my publishing contract and in the course of reading some Ministry documents on the Fundamentals for Math, I came across the recommendation for three games.  One of the games was called Domino Drop.  When I did a search I found several references to an app called Domino Drop, including this recommendation .  It's on a site called Learning Works for Kids and it looks to be another reference source I'm going to follow.

This is what the screen looks like for Domino Drop 

When you read the recommendations on the site for the App, you'll see that two Executive Functioning Skills are addressed: Planning and Organization.  There are also some basic math-related skills.  So I paid the grand price of just under $3.00, and added it to my iPad.

But here's the thing - that was not the game or the app the Ministry was recommending!  Eventually I found another Ministry document (and this was a true gem) with many games to supplement classroom learning.   The game Domino Drop was one of them.  But it is an entirely different game, although 'real' dominoes are involved.

It's a great game to reinforce beginning arithmetic skills of 'One More Than' and 'Two More Than' facts. Because students can easily recall the next number (+1) or the number after that (+2), it is advisable to begin instruction with “one-more-than” and “two-more-than” facts (see Strategy Cues below).

But also look at this game as another tool/strategy for reinforcing Executive Functions, particularly Focusing, Impulse control, and Organization.

Intrigued, I found John's domino set and today my student and I played.  We adapted some of the instructions from the Ministry.  Here's my adaptation for two players:

Materials:

  • a set of dominoes, divided equally between two players
  • Strategy cues: (use the first 6 for younger students)
    • one more than
    • two more than
    • one less than
    • two less than
    • take away one
    • take away two
    • add one
    • add two
    • plus one
    • plus two
    • one less
    • two less
How to Play:
  • Choose a strategy cue (one more than, two more than, etc.)
  • Arrange an equal number of dominoes between the two of you, face down.
  • Turn one domino over, and place it in the centre of the playing area.
  • Take turns using the chosen strategy to try to make a match to the centre domino.  If the strategy is “one more than” and the domino that is face up has a 2 and a 5, a player would need to have a domino with a 3 or 6 to match. If the player cannot make a match, she/he selects one additional domino from the collection and tries to make a match. If not, the turn is over and the other player plays. Play continues until one player has played all their dominoes.
  • Extension: Give players two strategy cards at a time (any combination of one more than, two more than, one less than, two less than) so that they can use either strategy when making a match.

Finally, an update on Tenzi:

I did buy the card pack 77 Ways to Play Tenzi to supplement my Tenzi Pack  (see earlier post).  We played it many times with Florence and Luke (grandchildren) at the cottage, and it was the game of choice for Florence!

Have fun.  Coming next - using calendars to keep us all organized!

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Welcome back to September 2019!

I hope everyone had a good summer.  I finished mine by participating in Hurricane Dorian in Nova Scotia but feel rather blessed that all we experienced were 48 hours without power, worrying about whether we'd be able to get gas for our rental car, not getting cell service, and not being able to see some of the sites in Nova Scotia.  Not so much for the thousands who were without power for many days.

I did spend several hours, at the cottage, listening in on some webinars about Executive Functions.  I'll share some thoughts with you over the next few days, but here's are two resources to help understand the after-school melt-downs.

The first is a webinar from Understood.org with thoughts on the subject.

The second is a quick read, courtesy of The Globe and Mail.  I've read similar stories about teens coming home from school and acting out in the same way.  Empathy for all that they go through!




Answer: Ah, the after-school meltdown. You are not alone. It’s especially common when school starts and our children are experiencing change in routine and new demands. Let’s talk about why it happens and what you can do about it.

I’m going to assume your daughter hasn’t reported any difficulties at school (or on the bus, etc.) and that you’ve spoken with her teacher to confirm that everything is going reasonably well. Trouble at school needs to be ruled out.

Getting more sleep is a great idea. Tired children (and parents) find it harder to stay emotionally regulated. We also want to make sure that she has a snack after school to avoid the “hangries” (hungry plus angry). Ideally, she can finish her lunch or you can bring a snack when you pick her up. Low blood sugar can aggravate the after-school meltdown.

If you can check “tired” and “hungry” off your list of possible causes of her after-school difficulties, and she’s still having a hard time? There are a few more reasons why the meltdowns could be happening and some effective strategies to help her.

Your daughter is likely working really hard to be “good” at school. She needs to listen to the teacher and pay attention, follow the rules of the classroom, and navigate interactions with her friends and peers. It is a lot of work. When she gets home, she can’t keep it together any longer.

We’ve all been there. Maybe you’ve been on a diet and stuck to it all day, only to eat a big piece of cake at 11 p.m. after a long day. Or maybe you’ve been patient all day with your employees, and then come home and snapped at your partner or your children. Our willpower has been used up.

The American Psychological Association reports that “some experts liken willpower to a muscle that can get fatigued from overuse.” We, children and adults alike, can only keep it together for so long before we fall apart. This could be part of what’s causing the after-school meltdown. She really is doing the best she can.
Your daughter also likely has some stored-up tensions and emotions from the day that she hasn’t been able to let out. Maybe the teacher scolded her or maybe her friend didn’t want to play with her at recess. Maybe she missed you.

When we feel stressed, our bodies pump out chemicals such as cortisol and adrenalin. When we have big feelings that we can’t process in the moment, we hold onto them until it feels safe to let them out. This happens to grown-ups as well: We want to cry at our desks during a rough day, but we push the feelings away until we feel safe to let them out. The stored-up tensions and emotions can make us feel irritable, anxious and grumpy. Cue the meltdown.

What can you do?

Try to make after school as undemanding as possible. She’s already used up most of her willpower and resources. Now is not the time for play dates or extracurricular activities.

If she walks in grumpy, try a hug and a few minutes of quiet together time. If that doesn’t restore her equilibrium, get her laughing before she has a chance to fall apart.

Use laughter to release the tensions and stored-up big feelings. You can actually prevent the after-school meltdown by spending 10 or 15 minutes laughing together.

Laughter actually changes the body’s chemistry. It reduces the physical symptoms of stress by clearing our bodies of those chemicals that make us feel anxious and grumpy. Laughter improves our mood. When we laugh, our bodies create endorphins, powerful feel-good chemicals. Our bodies also produce the bonding hormone oxytocin when we laugh. Ever wonder why we are drawn to those who make us laugh?
Some ideas: Get silly with a roughhousing game.

My children loved it when I would make them into a pizza. Roll out the “dough” (massage her body), and spread on some imaginary “sauce” and “toppings.” Sometimes the pizza would escape before I could eat it, and I’d have to chase it and catch it. Bop a balloon up in the air and, together, try keeping it from hitting the ground. Smaller kids love a ride around the house on your back or being chased by a silly monster.
Follow her laughter: Do more of whatever she likes. It takes time and effort to do this, but it will make the rest of your day much easier.

I don’t recommend tickling. Tickling can make children feel powerless and out of control, even as they laugh. Tickling laughter doesn’t result in the same release as funny laughter. If your daughter asks for tickling, tickle her a few inches away from her body without touching. Even funnier.

If the laughter isn’t enough?

Respond with empathy. She’s not giving you a hard time, she’s having a hard time. If you can remind yourself that your daughter is doing the best she can, you will be able to respond to her with more compassion and patience. She might need to cry to get out those feelings and tensions if laughter isn’t enough.

She will grow and mature and adjust to the demands of school. Keep providing for her physical needs of food and sleep and an undemanding evening routine, and get her laughing to shed the tensions and process the big feelings. The after-school meltdowns should melt away.

Sarah Rosensweet is a parenting coach who lives in Toronto with her husband and three kids, ages 12, 15 and 18.