Buckets of Time

Today's post is a step-backward from my usual 'could-be-over-whelming' list things to do.  The following article in the Globe and Mail the other day could be helpful to those of you trying to juggle so many things.  This time, you can juggle buckets, and although it sounds like 'Filling Your Bucket', it might just be that by using these 'time buckets', you will be filling both your bucket and those of your kids.

Need to keep kids busy at home? Think 'buckets'. 

by Sarah Rosensweet

Globe and Mail, April 7, 2020.

By structuring days into different activity categories, you can provide a framework both for yourself and for your children.

You are not alone in wondering how to get through the days. There are many parents out there right now who are wondering the same thing (how to make it through the day). Many parents are in an unusual (for them) situation of caring for their children all day and every day. No daycare, no school. And to top it off, many parents are also trying to work from home. It’s helpful to remember that everyone is dealing with the same challenges right now and to give yourself some grace.

In terms of daily life with children at home, I like to think of structure in terms of “buckets.” A bucket is a category of activity. Every day we do at least one thing that falls into each bucket. Which buckets to include takes a little thinking and planning on your part. What is important to you and non-negotiable?

Buckets include things such as exercise, fresh air, reading time, independent play, chore time, schoolwork and social connection. These will be different depending on your family and your values. You might make a schedule if you are a schedule person. At the very least, I recommend using the bucket approach to give your life with children at home a sense of routine and predictability.

Children need predictability to feel safe and secure. Use three to five buckets to provide a framework for your day and refer to them when discussing the day with your child.

Here are some bucket examples and some tips for making them work.

MOVE YOUR BODY

Experts agree that exercise and fresh air must be included so we can stay mentally and physically healthy. There are lots of free resources available right now for keeping kids active. If you have a yard, get outside every day. If you don’t, open the window! This is also extremely important for caregivers. Move your body. Get your blood pumping. This alone can make a huge difference in your ability to cope.

EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES

If your children are school-age and you are pandemic-schooling at home, remember that the most important thing is to keep their minds engaged. It may or may not work for you to keep up with the assigned work. Remember that play is the work of childhood. If you are doing other things to keep your child’s mind active, such as reading with them, and you are not cut out to be their teacher, that’s okay. One of your buckets could reflect this, such as “brain games” or something similar.

INDEPENDENT PLAY

If your child is hesitant to play on their own, make sure to fill their cup/bucket first with some play time with you. When their connection needs are met, children are much more willing to play by themselves. A great way to encourage independent play is to set up some sensory activities, such as water or sand play. Again, Google has great ideas for sensory activities.

HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE

If you don’t already have a chore routine, start by asking older kids how they’d like to help out the family team. If you have younger kids, they can help out by being involved in daily household tasks such as food preparation, laundry and cleaning. If they get to spend time with you and get attention, children are usually happy to help out.

Finally, make sure to schedule some time for yourself. What do you need to do to stay grounded during this unprecedented time? Give yourself so much compassion. This is hard. It includes forgiving yourself for letting the kids have more screen time than you would normally be okay with. 

If we are to get through this with grace, we need to remind ourselves that these are not ordinary times. If you can, comfort yourself with the bright side of more time spent as a family. When things go back to normal, it’s possible we just might miss these days.

And along the same line of thinking, an update just came in from Understood.org called My Five Parenting Rules for Letting Go and Getting Through the Coronavirus Crisis.  Do check it out.  Her last point is awesome:

I always tell my kids they can’t do better than the best they can do. It’s advice I’m going to have to take right now. Amid all this uncertainty, my best isn’t as good as it typically would be. I’m distracted and worried, and it affects my productivity. But it’s still the best I can do. And I can’t do any better than that.