Helping Our Kids be Successful in Online Learning

I want to give a shout-out and special thanks to Shelley Heaphy, who writes a column entitled The Parents'Voice for The Equity, a weekly newspaper in Shawville, Quebec.  Shawville is the nearest town to our cottage on the banks of the Ottawa River.  Shelley's article mirrored an earlier one of mine, adding new suggestions you might find helpful in these last few weeks of online learning.

This is Shelley's column:

Switching from real world learning to online learning can definitely be challenging for our young learners for a variety of reasons.

We see challenges in this house such as, not being heard by the teacher, not feeling engaged, not having the attention span to sit and watch a screen for a long period of time (which is actually a good thing since we don't usually want out kids participating in prolonged screen time) and simply missing friends and teachers.

How can we help our children survive or even thrive in this online schooling world? I have come up with a few tips; maybe one of these will help you keep your sanity this week.

Make schedules - make it visual.  Colour code online times for each child, post them in their work area so that they know what time they're scheduled online.

Review with them key buttons, how to mute and unmute themselves.  We had a hard time with using two tabs at the same time, my daughter missed out on a part of the lesson because I was between rooms at the time.  We will revisit how to go back and forth between tabs this week.  Find out what is tricky for them and try to practice it with them.  

1. Prep snacks for them before classes so they can have them ready on their breaks.

2. Screen breaks. Schedule these in.  In between classes and on lunch breaks, make them get some fresh air.  It helps rejuvenate us so much.  Whether it be a game of hopscotch, go for a walk or bike around the block or a swing on the play structure.

3. Make sure they have a proper  workspace for independent work time.  They should have all the tools they may need, teachers are usually pretty great at warning students about what is needed for each lesson (crayons, rulers, pencils and erasers, scrap paper).

4. Even though we aren't leaving the house, they are still using a ton of brain power for online learning.  They're working hard figuring out new things in a new way.  They are tired.  Think about an earlier bedtime.....we have to stick to our normal school routine to help them get through the days.

5. If your child is having a hard time understanding concepts, doing work independently or struggling emotionally, communicate with their teachers.  They want to know how their students are doing and ways in which they can help.  Reach out.

6. If it works in your schedule at all, try and schedule some one on one time when learning is over so that they can feel a connection with you.  With online learning, our kids are missing social contacts as well as the connection they feel with their teacher and in their home away from home.  Talk to them. Check in regularly just so they can talk when they need to.

7. Try and help your kids keep in touch with their friends.  It can be so isolating to be away from friends and family (as we already know and are feeling).  It's important for them to keep up with their relationship for some normalcy.

8.  In our house, we deal with some meltdowns; each (and each personality) deals with these changes differently.  I try and help my child through her meltdowns, help her calm down and get back at it.  Each child may need something different...but what has been working for us is talking about why we're frustrated and trying fix that problem, taking long deep breaths, taking some time to relax and read a book or take an outdoor break and during no class time letting her choose what she wants to do. 

These changes are not easy for any of us.  Teachers want back in the classroom, parents need their kids to get back into a classroom so they can return to their job, and children need normalcy that comes with school, classrooms, teachers, and friends.  Until that happens again, I sincerely hope that some of these tips help you in the weeks ahead.

Hang in there, we've got this.

Again, thank you Shelley.  To all parents, teachers, and kids (and grandparents) stay well.

And finally, if you don't laugh, you cry.

What to Do in the Latest Lockdown?

 Things to Do to Make the Latest Lockdown Pass Quickly

It seems we've been lurching from one type of lockdown to another.  The objective with these suggestions is to help you see the passage of time and to be able to say that after the six weeks, you accomplished something.  I've tried to limit the activities that use a screen.  I like a screen - you and I are using one now - but we need a break.  

1. Use a calendar

Crossing off the days helps us see the goal (the end of the lockdown) getting closer each day.  

Consider making each day of the week different (e.g., Sundays are breakfast for dinner; Thursdays are games night)

You might use The Zones of Regulations at the start and end of each day. Use the relevant marker to put your initial on the date. 

Blue Zone: you're sad or tired.

Green: you're happy or calm

Yellow: you're frustrated or worried

Red: you're mad or angry (or out of control)

2. Create an activities jar

This is kind of like the Job Jar.  Instead, each member makes a list of things they like to do as a family.  Pull one out on a regular basis or when things are getting 'low'.  Suggestions include: movie night, singing karaoke Disney songs; jigsaws; scavenger hunt in the house/backyard.

3. The meals

Share the meal planning and preparation according to everyone's skill level.  

Each family member chooses one meal to plan and prepare. (and if someone orders in, accept it; they've taken ownership for the ordering but also the prepping for eating!)

4. The Job Jar

Make a list of six things (one per week) to do in the house or your bedroom (curate your stuffies) or garden (add the mulch to garden). 

Keep the tasks small and doable.

After the six weeks are over, you can say - 'See, this is better than before.'

5. Map and explore your neighbourhood     

Use Google maps to map out biking/walking routes of a certain distance from your house.  

(Right click on the map of your neighbourhood; a drop-down appears; see 'Measure distance'.)

Record how many kilometres you covered over the six weeks.  

6. Take a camera with you on your walks/biking

Share the photos with family that haven't seen your neighbourhood in a while.

Find a plant or tree and document its changes over the 6 weeks.

7. Set one 'me' goal per week

This is different from the Job Jar.  This is about you.  

The goal can be something big or small that having accomplished it (or even started it), you feel good.  Suggestions include: start learning a new language - maybe sign language; use a new recipe; organize your photos; start practising a musical instrument.

Small is good.  Too big, it can be overwhelming.  Sometimes just taking one small step is the way to get started.  

8. Make a Looking Forward list: What are you most anticipating doing?

Share or not.  Small or big.  We need something to look forward to.

Try going beyond 'Hugging my grandchildren and their parents!' - okay for some of us, that's at the top of the list, but after that, what keeps us going?

9. Make a list of the positives from this past year+: 

This came up in a family conversation recently.  

One of us became an entrepreneur (she has her own mask-making business); another brought her plants home from the office and is enjoying her green thumb and adding to her bird watching skills.  John has been perfecting his singing, guitar playing, and use of music technology. I've learned to code using Scratch (thanks to grandson Luke) and tried my hand at various arts and craft projects (thanks to granddaughter Florence).  We've all become accomplished Zoom callers and have agreed that might be the way forward for some interactions.

10. Finally, remember gratitude

Take time to breathe; take time to remember the daily things for which we are grateful.  

Be specific (I'm grateful I used the time to write this post; I'm grateful you took the time to read it).

Make it part of your mealtimes together.

Give everyone the chance to pass; sometimes it's hard to find something.  

Finally, we all so want this to be over.  

Be kind to those who are feeling anxious about all of this.

 Have empathy for those who don't have the patience we think they should have.  

Be grateful for all of those who are helping us get through this.

 The Delicate Balance of Rewards and Consequences

The following are thoughts distilled from ADDitude magazine re: the delicate balance between praise/rewards and consistent and fair consequences.  It is far too easy to correct/criticize; far harder to give legitimate praise and pats on the back.  Some of us need much more of the latter than the former.  But note my emphasis on 'legitimate'.  

One of things I learned early in my teaching career was to be specific with both my praise and my appeals to stop something.  'You're doing well, Gerrie' does nothing.  The reaction I imagined that such a shout-out would elicit would be, 'Doing well at what?  Breathing? Standing still?' And the same for, 'Stop that!'  'What am I supposed to stop, breathing, standing still?' (Better to say, "Walk" rather than "Don't run." since many of us tune out the 'Don't' and hear only the 'run'.)

Source

So following the concept of positive reinforcement being specific and legitimate, here are some ideas to help reinforce the positive behaviours.

1. Spend time together - unstructured 15 minutes each day, doing what she wants to do.  No devices for either of you.  Just one-on-one.  It could be reading with each other, to each other; telling jokes; going for a walk.  Maybe make a list of all the things your child wants to do and put them in a jar to pull out.  That's your first one-on-one time - making a list.  Throw in something that you'd like to do with your child that maybe she hasn't thought of yet.
2. Praise (legitimately and specifically) often.  At the beginning, you might really have to look, but it can start small.  "I like the way you concentrated on trying to spell that word." "I like the way you walked quietly from the kitchen to your bedroom."  I used to put 10 tokens in my pocket to remind me to praise or recognize a certain student who really needed that positive reinforcement.  When I did, I transferred that token to the other pocket and kept going until all 10 were in the other pocket.  
• For more information on specific praise, see this site called MINDSET: THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS
• and click here for a 'cheat sheet' on specific prompts (see the end of this post for what it looks like)
3. Reinforce (especially for little ones) with small tokens - stars on a chart; tokens in a chair.  Help your child decide what he'd like to earn recognition for.  Then together, decide how many stars have to be earned for a bigger reward (a trip to Dairy Queen, a playdate, and so on).  Surprise your child by adding a star when he's not looking.  And never take away a token or a star.  If he legitimately earned it, he gets to keep it. 
• Caveat: beware of the "If I do this, do I get a star?" motivation.  If that happens, time to look for another support system.  
4. Be direct.  Don't ask; tell. Avoid "Would you mind?" or finishing your 'tell' with "Okay?" The directive should be clear, short, and pithy (to the point).  "Pick up your school bag and put it away now please."
5. Use eye contact.  It's harder to ignore someone when you must look them in the face.   “This can be done with humor,” says child psychologist Douglas Riley. “I use the phrase, ‘Give me your eyeballs.'”
6. Be consistent with consequences. If a child misbehaves five (5) times but receives consequences for only three (3), it's not hard for them to figure out the odds of getting away with something.  It reminds me of the old story about Freddie and Irene playing outside. Irene's mother calls her for dinner.  When she ignores several calls, Freddies asks why she isn't going in.  Irene responds that her mother had only called four (4) times.  "When she gets to six, I know she's serious."
• Depending on the nature of the behaviour, get your child's input on what the consequence should be.  Often his or her suggested consequence might be more on point than the one you were thinking of.  

Source

 

As Ontario moves into its next phrase of online learning, check the resource entitled Learning Strategies that Work Now with many ideas for both parents and teachers supporting kids learning remotely.  

Click here for link

The article comes from ADDitude magazine.  Please note that although the article is subtitled Tools and best practices that work for students with ADHD learning at school and/at home, the ideas can be used by all and for all.  

Gerrie

 

Advice for remote learning

Some Tips for Remote Learning

 If you are a teacher or a parent reading this, please feel free to share and acknowledge the source as The Globe and Mail

To all of you, my heart goes out to you as you struggle with the challenges of this way of learning that none of us anticipated.  I'm reading the frustrations from all sectors on Twitter.  

Here's my two-cents worth.  We're all in this together.  Every single teacher I worked with wanted the very best for her/his students.  None of us have done this before.  Cut all of those on the front lines some slack (read what you will into this).  Please, please, if you have concerns from either side of the screen, reach out.  There's a human being on the other side.  From the teacher's perspective, receiving a simple note of thanks or encouragement goes a long way.  Parents want to hear that too.

I hope there is something in this post that will help.  Good luck to all of you.

The Globe and Mail interviewed teachers and parents from across the country.    I will summarize the tips from both parents and teachers.  If you want the full article, let me know and I will share with you.

Advice for remote learning from those with experience by Dave McGinn and Caroline Alphonso

(Adapted from Nancy Wilson-Blackley, Grade 4 teacher, Halton District School Board, Ontario):

• Have a really good spot to sit and learn; headphones are great to block out the sounds if the space is shared with others. (This is not easy)
• Sit at a table or a desk so kids feel like they're in school rather than lounging around.
• If the bedroom is the new school room, remove toys that might prove distracting.
• A dollar-store whiteboard is a great tool, especially for math problems; kids just have to hold up the whiteboard to show their work.
• Don't let the technology make you frustrated.  Kids can send a note in the Chat space to say they're going to reset their computer.  
• Let the teacher know it's not working.  They can share their screen and show the students what they need to do. 

 (Adapted from Naomi Pahl, mom of 4 children - 6, 9, 11, and 12)

• Some children who are easily distracted need their own space.  Keep those fidget toys handy.  A chair that spins give the kid the option of still wiggling. 
• When school is over, close up that 'office space'; don't go back there.  That's the space you go for school and when it's over, you leave it, just as you would 'normal' school (whatever that is these days).

(Adapted from Theresa Powell, mother of 2, ages 9 and 11).

• The morning routine is important.  Go for a walk around the neighbourhood after breakfast.  If before you raced to get to school, now you're racing to get home to get to school.
• Use the recesses to have the kids run around the block or do something active.  Time them to beat the time from the day before.  

(Adapted from Puja Amin, mom of 2, ages 8 and 11)

• Charge all devices the night before.
• Set alarms to designate breaks and sign-in times.
• Set the alarms for 5 minutes BEFORE the sign-in because it always takes longer than you think!

(Adapted from Ryan Watts, mom to four, ages 3, 6, 8, and 11)

• Choose your battles.  Reach out to the teacher if you're really concerned about something.  
• Ask for help in understanding the expectations.
• Be careful about pointing fingers. Keep your concerns about how things are going to yourself. 

(Adapted from Maninder Chauhan, father of two, ages 6 and 9)

• Break time is 100 per cent no-screen time.  
• Make it physical as often as possible, but if not, just something that doesn't involve a screen.
• Stay out of the classroom!  This is hard when everyone is within earshot but you're not supposed to be in school!
• Keep your kids hydrated and fed.

Virtual hugs to you all.

Gerrie

Being on time - with a screen!

 

Happy New Year.  It seems ages since I posted anything - actually because it has been ages!  I was really hoping I wouldn't be writing anything about coping with virtual schooling again, but here we are.  

Below are some ideas from a recent post from ADDitude magazine entitled Be On Time!  The tagline is: Getting back on schedule is doubly hard when "returning to school" means logging on to Zoom.

Here's a summary of some key points:

• Use weekly and monthly calendars to plan.  See my post The Executive Functions of Time Management
• "Calendars offer a multisensory learning opportunity: They are a visual record of activities that work kinesthetically as you write down and cross off activities, and it prompts auditory reinforcement as you talk about the day’s events."
• Use analogue clocks rather than digital clocks.  
• "Digital clocks present time as a static present-tense thing, greatly affecting kids’ ability to conceive of and gauge time. Analog clocks show that time moves — and let a child know where she stands in relation to the rest of the hour or the rest of the day. We need to reintroduce analog clocks so children can “see” time and learn to place events in context."
• Set a timer to assist with transitions (you have five minutes to finish your work) and work completion.  Use an alarm signal when the time is up.
• Create a daily to-do list and cross off those tasks that have been finished, even minor ones like completing a chore.  There's nothing like crossing something off a list to feel that you've made progress.
• Estimating the time to complete something is hard for many of us. (I thought this post would only take 30 minutes; fancy that - it's over an hour now!)  
• Practise estimating how much time any one assignment will take and then add that time frame to the calendar using different coloured pens for each subject area.
• "Make a game out of predicting, timing, and checking your student’s estimates of the time needed for various activities. How long does it take to walk from the kitchen to the mail box? To complete an assignment?"
• Setting priorities is a life skill.  .
• "First, figure out together how many homework assignments she has tonight, which are due tomorrow, and which of those is most challenging. Encourage her to start the most difficult homework first, when she’s fresh and energetic. Consistent use of the calendar/planner will help your child learn how to prioritize and manage assignments."

As I was starting to write this post, I remembered a book I'd read with my students called Wings to Fly by Celia Barker Lottridge.  It's set on the Canadian Prairies in the fall of 1918 as the 'Spanish flu' moves in.  The book is where I first learned of the phrase, "I opened the window and 'in flew Enza'."  Here's a snippet:

Miss Barnett gave each class special assignments to do at home while the school was closed.

"We don't how long the school will be closed," she said.  "I think it is very possible that it won't re-open before Christmas, so we may not see each other again until spring term.  That may seem far away, but I hope you will take some time each day to do the lessons I have set you.  That way we won't be so far behind when school takes up again."

"I hope you will read, too.  Reading is one of the best ways to pass time, have fun, and learn new things." 

How different things are 100+ years later.

Finally, my book club (there are 3 of us!) have read The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue.  The story is set in Dublin, Ireland in 1918 in a make-shift maternity ward at the height of the Spanish flu.  In terms of estimating time to finish the book, be prepared to pull an all-nighter. 

Until the next post, stay warm, stay safe, and hang in there!

Gerrie

 

How can we make the separation between kids and their grandparents easier?

• The Globe and Mail (Ontario Edition)
• 8 Sep 2020
• SARAH ROSENSWEET 

(Sarah Rosensweet is a Parenting coach who lives in Toronto with her husband and three children, ages 12, 15 and 18)

Kerry Byrne of The Long Distance Grandparent website suggests weekly virtual ‘grand dates’ to help everyone stay connected 

The question

My kids have been seeing one set of their grandparents a bit this summer, but when school starts again, we don’t want to take any chances. And they haven’t seen their other grandparents since the winter since we couldn’t travel to see them this summer. I’m really sad for all of us. Do you have any tips for how we can make this separation easier?

The answer

The loss of time and connection has been so difficult for grandparents and grandchildren alike but there are so many ways to ease the separation. I reached out to Kerry Byrne of The Long Distance Grandparent website for some suggestions to help everyone stay connected.

Schedule a weekly “grand date.” Byrne suggests that we plan virtual visits. “Connect every week on a Saturday morning or for Sunday dinner so kids know what to expect. Invite both sets of grandparents to join at the same time to lessen the video fatigue.”

Prepare and Play: Preparing for video chats increases the chances your children will want to return to the grand date. Byrne suggests themed dinners together such as Taco Tuesdays or Sundae Sundays. 

Another idea is to play games that serve the dual purpose of fun and learning about one another. For example, have a virtual quiz night with the topic of the quiz about different family members. Byrne suggests, “Have everyone come up with five questions and include active questions for younger children. 

Ask questions such as ‘Has anyone in the family ever broken a bone?’, ‘Can Mommy touch her tongue to her nose?’, ‘If Grandma could eat one thing for the rest of her life, what would it be?’ ‘Can Grandpa pat his head and rub his belly at the same time?’ This can be played in a True or False format for younger kids.”

Batch-connect your snail mail: Similar to batch-cooking meals, sit down once a month and have the kids draw pictures or work on crafts to send. Byrne suggests giving them a specific task (e.g., Grandma needs a picture for her wallet or for her fridge) to make it more meaningful for them. 

For older grandchildren, have them print out articles about topics they are interested in to discuss on a video chat. While the kids create the art, parents can address and stamp multiple envelopes to be used throughout the month. Bonus, as Byrne says: “A trip to the mailbox is a great way to break up the day.”

Work on a service project together from a distance: Brainstorm to find a shared interest. For example, if grandparents and grandkids share a love of animals, they can all donate newspapers or pet supplies to a local animal shelter. Do it together virtually or meet up on your grand date and share what you each did. Take selfies of each family dropping off the supplies. This is a beautiful way to create a bond between them around a certain passion.

Preserve your virtual time together: Take screenshots of your Zoom chats or photos of the kids video chatting with their grandparents. Byrne says, “As kids grow up, they’ll see how their grandparents were committed enough to ‘be there’ virtually for them and with them.” These photos will serve as memories of your time together and capture a period in history that children will learn about in school for generations to come.

If you’ve never celebrated Grandparents Day before, this is the year to start. It falls on September 13th this year.

Send a video of your children singing “Happy Grandparents Day to you” to the tune of Happy Birthday or an e-mail with ‘Three things we love about Grandma and Grandpa.’ It’s also a great opportunity for parents to acknowledge how important their own parents or in-laws are in their children’s lives. Write them a short note or text and share your favourite memory about them as a grandparent.

This pandemic won’t last forever. Your parents and your children will both appreciate the efforts you make to help them stay connected.